


There's Still Tomorrow, Isn't There?

by queenbyun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Cum Play, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Pining, Smut, Unrequited Love, endgame eruri, levi rejects erwin and regrets it, minor erwin/marie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbyun/pseuds/queenbyun
Summary: Erwin frowns. “Don’t lie to me, Levi. If you really feel nothing for me, why do you look at me in that way of yours when we make love?” He takes a shaky breath, “Unless you mean to tell me that I’ve been deluding myself the whole time?”“That’s right,” Levi spits, “You imagined everything. All I ever come here for is a good fuck. Get that through your thick skull, you shitty bastard.”In which Levi finally allows himself to be loved.





	1. If We Keep This Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to: IKON's Airplane

The early morning light filters through the flimsy curtains. In a hazy, half-asleep state, Erwin makes a note to himself to invest in better curtains. For now, though, he refuses to let the light piercing his eyelids steal the last few precious moments of sleep away, and he folds his forearm over his eyes. On the rare occasion in which workaholic Erwin Smith finally lets himself rest, a fire could start in his own kitchen before he gets up.

That goes without saying, of course, no man is immune to the sensation of a warm, wet mouth on his cock. Erwin groans, and lifts his forearm just so that he can peek down at his crotch. Sure enough, he’s met with the sight of Levi tonguing at the slit of his rapidly hardening dick.

“Why, good morning, Levi. I can’t say I’d mind waking up to this every morning.” Erwin chokes on the last word as the petite male swirls his tongue generously around the head of his cock before letting go with a _pop!_

Levi’s lips are as red and swollen as the tip of his straining cock, and Erwin thinks he could cum at the sight of it right then and there.  

“Don’t get used to it, old man,” Levi wipes the spit from his face and smirks. “I hardly believe you can get it up every morning.”

Erwin grins broadly, “Oh is that so?” he reaches down to thread his fingers in Levi’s jetblack hair. “Shall we test how _hard_ it really is, hm?”

With a firm, yet gentle grip, Erwin guides Levi’s mouth back onto his dick, and Levi all but complies.

Eyelashes fluttering, Levi tenderly kisses the tip before taking him deeper, cock hitting the back of his throat. He moans, and his throat constricts around Erwin’s dick in pulses. Throwing his head back, Erwin shuts his eyes tightly as he revels in the feeling of Levi’s hot mouth moving up and down his cock.

He lets Levi take the lead, but when the man’s tongue begins pressing incessantly against his sensitive underside, he yanks Levi’s head up before he comes. Levi frowns and attempts to chase his cock with his mouth, but Erwin tightens his grip on his hair.

“Enough,” Erwin rasps, “Come here, now.” He pulls Levi up by his armpits. Levi narrows his eyes, but before he can complain about being manhandled, Erwin climbs over the petite male and presses his fingers against Levi’s quivering entrance.

“You’re still so wet from last night.” Erwin comments, slipping two fingers into Levi’s slick hole.

Levi huffs, “Shit, Erwin, stop fucking around. I don’t need to be prepared.”

Despite Levi’s demand, Erwin ignores him in favor of curling his fingers inside Levi, marveling at how tight he always manages to be, no matter how often they fuck. Levi moans in response, but shoots an icy glare at the blond man, “Erwin!”

“Alright, alright,” Erwin breathes, slipping his fingers out and fisting himself to spread Levi’s saliva on his cock. Without a hitch, Erwin holds his dick and feeds himself into Levi’s hole. In one slick movement, he slides all the way in, hips flush against Levi’s ass.

“Shit!” Levi cries, clenching around Erwin. After making sure his lover has adjusted, Erwin moves his hips gently. With each stroke, he draws another moan from Levi, and his heart swells with pride

 _I’m the one who’s wrecking him_. _I'_ _m the one who gets to see him like this._

And what a sight it was. Erwin feasts his eyes on the flush blooming on Levi’s cheeks, his swollen, bee-stung lips, and his cute button nose scrunched up in pleasure. And Levi’s eyes, half-lidded and clouded with lust, never stray from Erwin’s face. There’s a gentleness, a warmth in those dark eyes, and if Erwin were a fool, he’d convince himself it’s a look of love.

Erwin reaches out to stroke Levi’s face, and that seems to snap Levi out of his trance. Eyes now wide and alert, he breaks his gaze with Erwin and makes to cover his face with his hands. Erwin catches his wrists and tears them away.

“Don’t hide from me, Levi,” Erwin murmurs, and Levi’s blush seems to color even more.

 _He’s so beautiful,_  Erwin thinks, and leans in without thinking to kiss the man beneath him. Levi grunts and blatantly turns his head, without a single pretense to hide that he was avoiding the kiss. It’s happened often enough for Erwin to know how to dull the sharp pain of rejection into a mere ache in his chest, but he can’t help the sigh of disappointment that escapes him.

Sensing the blond’s decreasing morale, Levi bucks his hips against Erwin’s. “Fuck, Erwin, _harder,”_ he spurs, “Fuck me harder.” and he bites Erwin’s earlobe.

Erwin moans at the twinge of pleasure in his cock, and his hips begin to move with abandon. He fucks Levi like an animal, as if the smaller man was nothing but a tight hole to pleasure himself with and dump his cum in. He fucks like how Levi wants him to.

The sloppy sound of his cock sliding in and out of Levi’s slick hole turns him on even more. Erwin spread Levi’s thighs wider apart and fucks into him mindlessly. With his tiny hands gripping Erwin’s thick shoulders, Levi’s high-pitched moans of “Ah, ah, _ah_ ” are punctuated by each slap of Erwin’s balls against his ass.

Erwin pulls out abruptly, and before Levi has the time to shoot him a dirty look, he’s flipped his lover onto his hands and knees. In an instant, Erwin mounts him again and slides all the way back in like he belongs, and the new position allows him to reach deeper into Levi. The tip of his cock now slides over Levi’s prostate with every thrust, and Levi’s cries grow louder.

Without ever breaking the rhythm of his hips, Erwin spanks Levi’s asscheek, admiring the blooming handprint that appears on pale skin immediately. He grips Levi’s hair again, much more roughly than earlier, and shoves Levi down into the mattress, muffling the man’s moan. Levi begins to clench around Erwin’s swollen dick, a telltale sign that he’s about to cum. Erwin snakes his other hand down to Levi’s tiny prick and strokes in time with his thrusts.

“Come on, baby, cum for me,” Erwin coos, “Cum for daddy.”

At this, Levi lets out a sharp cry and spurts all over the sheets, hips grinding back onto Erwin’s cock to ride out his orgasm. His hole flutters sporadically around Erwin, who collapses onto his back and grunts in Levi’s ear. Erwin grits his teeth and starts rutting into the man beneath him with renewed vigor. The entire bed frame begins to shake from the force of Erwin jolting into Levi as he begins to chase his own orgasm.

“You like it, don’t you?” Erwin couldn’t help but slam his hand against the headboard of the bed. Levi’s little hole was just too good. “You love being pushed around, roughed up, like the whore you are. You love getting fucked by daddy’s cock.” He breathes harshly, “Say it, baby.”

Levi whines and squirms from oversensitivity, but Erwin is merciless. He spanks Levi once more, which earns weak cry. “ _Say it.”_

“Fuck!” Levi swears, “Fine! I like it! I love getting fucked by your cock, _daddy_.”

Erwin groans gutturally, his grip tightening on Levi’s hips as he pounds into him faster than ever. His thrusts become sloppy in exchange for power, and when Levi clenches around him one last time, he curses as he releases thick ropes of white inside Levi.

His hips keep moving on their own accord, fucking his cum deeper inside Levi as he savors his orgasm. Erwin eventually pulls out, and watches the globs of white drip out of Levi’s reddened hole. He grips his softening dick and pushes his cum back into Levi. “Mm, that’s so hot.”

Levi lets out a disapproving “tsk” before rolling over. “Stop that shit, it’s disgusting,” Levi throws over his shoulder as he climbs out of bed. Erwin situates himself on Levi’s side of the bed, which was untainted from their, ah, _activities_ , and watches lazily as Levi pads into the bathroom.

“Now I have to take a shower again.” Erwin can’t see him, but he knows Levi is scowling.

“Mind if I join you?” Erwin calls out with a grin spreading on his face.

“Not a chance in hell, you perverted old man. I need to go back home and change before I go to work. I don’t have time to fuck around with you.” is Levi’s blunt answer before the shower turns on, subsequently cutting off their conversation.

Erwin sighs, and rolls out of bed himself. He pulls on a pair of boxers and makes his way into the kitchen. After examining the contents of his fridge, he gathers that he only has the ingredients for an omelette. He takes two eggs out and walks over to the stove to turn it on. Placing the pan on the heated stove, he drizzles some oil in and cracks the eggs neatly into the pan. As the eggs sizzle, his mind begins to drift.

 _Ah, it’s today, isn’t it?_ He thinks absentmindedly, _I must ask Levi today._

Once he flips the omelette and makes sure that it’s cooked, he turns the stove off and reaches into a cabinet for a plate. He’s sliding the omelette onto the plate as Levi walks into the kitchen, fully dressed.

“I hope you didn’t burn anything this time,” Levi says as he leans against the kitchen island, “You’re a fucking mess in the kitchen.”

Erwin lets out a laugh, “Have a little more faith in me, Levi. I’m not completely useless.” He sprinkles a bit of salt and pepper on the dish to season it, just like Levi taught him. “After all, I had a pretty decent teacher.” He looks over fondly at Levi, who blinks and averts his eyes. Once again, he looks like he’d been caught, just like he had looked earlier.

Choosing not to comment on Levi’s odd behavior, Erwin sets the breakfast for one on the table. “I assume you’re not staying for breakfast?” he asks smoothly. It might be rude for him to assume, but he’s learned that a lot of eggs get wasted this way when Levi never stays.

Levi clears his throat, “Yeah, I gotta go home first.”

He’s still not looking at Erwin. But Erwin is used to it. Levi’s always been prickly at best, and has never been one to show affection.

Although Erwin supposes he doesn’t have to, especially since they’re just fuck buddies. Erwin shakes the thought out of his head and speaks up, “That’s right, Levi. Are you free tonight? I was thinking of making dinner for us.”

Levi simply raises an eyebrow. Panicked, Erwin holds his hands up in defense. “I’m trying out the lemon-thyme chicken recipe,” he offers, “You know, the one we saw on the Food Network?”

Levi’s eyebrows lower back to its normal place. “Okay,” he agrees, “But what for?”

Caught off guard, Erwin licks his lips before replying, “ _Keeping Up With the Kardashians_ is on tonight. I thought we could catch it together.”

 _Stupid_ , he berates himself, but Levi just laughs. “Of course you did. I still don’t know why you even watch that shit, though.”

Feeling relieved, Erwin gives the petite male a boyish grin. “So I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll come.” Levi waves as he pushes off the table and heads towards the door. “Someone’s gotta there to make your obsession with shitty reality TV look less creepy.” He smirks over his shoulder at Erwin as he puts his loafers on, and Erwin’s knees go weak.

“I’ll see you at work, old man.” And with that, Levi’s out the door and leaves nothing but his distinct scent of soap behind.

Still smiling, Erwin takes a bite of the omelette.

 _This is it,_ he thinks, humming the tune of some sweet love song he's forgotten the name of.  _Tonight is my chance._

As he tightens his tie around his neck later that morning, he looks himself in the eyes in the mirror. “Don’t fuck this up,” he tells himself, “Don’t.”

  
After all, he already gave his heart to Levi two years ago, and it’d be a terrible waste if he fumbles and drops the ball now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is pretty much just pwp, but the juicy, angsty stuff will be following soon! Please feel free to leave kudos and/or comments in the meantime, they would be greatly appreciated :)


	2. I Confess to You, With All My Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to: SG Wannabe's I Confess (고백합니다)

The chicken doesn’t even make it out of the oven that night before things go south. Levi scowls the second he catches sight of the candlesticks, throwing a soft glow in the darkened room, on the dining table for two. But he doesn’t object, even as he sits down gingerly with a sullen expression. 

Erwin tries his best to carry the conversation throughout the appetizer course--the meatballs he slaved over--but it’s a difficult task when Levi only replies with a word or two in comparison to Erwin’s long-winded questions. However, he’s interrupted mid breath in his rant about the outdated coffee machine in the breakroom.

 “Look, Erwin,” Levi blurts out. When the blond beckons eagerly him with his cerulean blue eyes, Levi grimaces. “What the hell is this shit? This looks an awful lot like--”

“A date? Yes.” Erwin reaches across the table to lay his hand over Levi’s. The petite male’s eye twitches, but he says nothing, so Erwin clears his throat, “Today is our two-year anniversary, Levi. Did you know that?”

Levi lets out a snort. It’s an ugly sound that pierces Erwin’s ears. “That’s only for couples, Erwin, and we’re not a couple.” He snatches his hand away from under Erwin’s, and makes a show of wiping it on the tablecloth.

Erwin purses his lips at that, slowly withdrawing his hand now awkwardly splayed in the middle of the table. “I like you, Levi. A lot. I think you know that.” He pauses then, waiting to gauge a reaction out of Levi, but his face remains unreadable.  

“We’ve been seeing each other for two years now, and I would love nothing more than to pursue a serious relationship with you.”

 Erwin clutches his heart in both hands and presents it, raw and beating, to Levi. “Will you go out on a date, a real one, with me?”

 Levi scrutinizes him, stern eyes narrowing into slits and Erwin resists the urge to shrink back into himself. Still, he allows himself to cling onto a glimmer of hope when Levi quirks his lips into a half smile, but they’re dashed in the next instant when the petite male barks out a harsh, mocking laugh.

 “I didn’t think Alzheimer’s would get to you so soon, old man.” He picks up his wine glass and swirls it, looking nonchalantly at the dark liquid sloshing around, “Did you forget? I told you before. You’re just a decent lay. There’s nothing more between us, and there never will be.”

Erwin frowns at the blunt words. “Don’t lie to me, Levi. You can’t possibly feel that way.” Levi scoffs, but he pushes on, “If you really feel nothing for me, why do you brush my hair out of my face when you think I’m still asleep? Why do you look at me in that way of yours when we make love?” He takes a breath shakily, “Unless you mean to tell me that I’ve been deluding myself the whole time?”  

He throws the question out there as a challenge, daring Levi to refute him. The thing is, Levi actually takes the bait. 

“That’s right,” Levi drawls, “You imagined everything. All I ever come here for is a good fuck. Get that through your thick skull, you shitty bastard.”

Levi stands up abruptly, his chair scraping against the hardwood floor in protest. Before Erwin can comprehend what’s happening, the smaller man is putting his jacket and making his way to the door.

“If you wanna live in your fantasy world, don’t force others to play along with you.” Levi bites the words out roughly, and he accentuates the sentiment with a heavy slam of the door on his way out. The sound resonates in Erwin’s ears for a moment longer before he’s caught up on what has just transpired. Before the devastation sets in, however, Erwin remembers the chicken in the oven and curses as he rushes to salvage what he can.

As he examines the horribly charred chicken with a face full of smoke minutes later, Erwin supposes that things probably could not have gone any worse.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Erwin finds himself holed up in his favorite bar, with Mike sighing deeply at every shot he takes. “So? What are you going to do now?”

After downing yet another shot of vodka, the liquid burning its way down his throat, Erwin all but buries his face in his arms pitifully.

“I don’t know,” his groan comes out muffled through the sleeve of his suit. In his excitement for the dinner, fluttering about the kitchen preparing this and that, he'd forgotten to even change after work. “I don’t even know what to think. I knew it would be too direct if I asked him outright to be my boyfriend, but a date? He couldn’t even do that?”

Mike waves away the bartender who looks slightly concerned for his giant sniffling friend slumped over the bar. “Look, Erwin, I’ll tell you what you need to do. It’s simple. Just forget him.”

Erwin jerks his head up at that and gives the moustached man a pointed look, but Mike holds up a hand. “Before you open your dumb, drunken mouth and whine how you can’t just simply forget the love of your life, or something equally gross, listen to me. You’re rich, good looking, and considerate. There are plenty of people out there would give anything to be with you. Levi’s not the only fish in the sea, you know. You deserve better than being strung along, loving without receiving love in return.”

 Mike takes a sip of his own drink, whiskey on the rocks, and his gaze softens. “You’re a handsome guy, Erwin, but you’re not getting any younger. If you want to settle down, stop wasting your time with someone who can’t give you what you want.”

Settling his chin over his crossed forearms, Erwin mulls over this. He certainly isn’t unaware of his own attractiveness. After all, he’d managed to snag Levi, the most beautiful and possibly most unattainable man Erwin’s ever met. But when all Levi cares about is Erwin’s strong jawline and muscled arms, the day he starts getting bored is inevitable. And then what?

Mike’s right. He’s not getting any younger. Erwin likes to think he’s well-kept for a man in his mid-thirties, but the occasional gray hair here or there does not escape his notice in the mirror when he shaves. It would be foolish of him to remain hung up on Levi forever, wasting the last of his youth away on a fleeting season of attraction.  

He’s already spent two years pining after Levi, and now, he knows that’s all he’ll ever have: an unrequited love. If Erwin were to ever settle down, his only recourse now would be to move on.

_._

_Two Years Ago_

_._

 Growing up, Erwin Smith didn’t really know what he wanted in life, other than that he wanted to be a father. His own father died when he was young, and he desired nothing more than to love and nurture a child the way he ached for in his youth.

 Of course, he abandoned this dream of his entirely the day he met Levi. They’d first met when Levi joined Survey Corps Inc. As the COO, Erwin had been making his routine rounds in the office when he spotted the scowling man trailing after Mike.

“Hello, Erwin.” Mike greeted his friend, “Did you get my proposal? I had Nanaba send it over to you this morning.”

Erwin was already peeking over Mike’s broad shoulders to glimpse the petite figure behind him, arms crossed and frown deepening by the second, but he forced himself to answer Mike, “No, I haven’t gotten to it yet.” He tilted his head in the unfamiliar male’s direction. “And who might this be?”

“Ah, he’s our new head of accounting,” Mike stepped to the side and gestured for the man to step forward, who did so reluctantly. “His name is Levi.”

 _Oh. He’s beautiful_  

The thought formed in Erwin’s mind before he could suppress it. It alarmed him, how it rang with such clarity, but it’s true. His eyes trailed over the man’s features, absorbing his startling gray eyes and sharp nose, before he allowed his eyes to wander down to Levi’s pale neck, delicate wrists, and--

“Hey,” Levi snapped, “Eyes up here, you perverted bastard.”

Erwin’s eyebrows flew up in surprise, but before he could react, Mike cut in. “That’s the COO you’re talking to,” he reprimanded harshly, “Show some respect.”

The blond shook his head. “It’s quite alright, Mike.” He directed an amicable smile at Levi, who just scoffed. “I apologize. My name is Erwin Smith. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  

He held his hand out generously for Levi to shake. The raven haired man merely eyed the hand in poorly concealed disgust.

“Yeah, I guess.” he deadpanned. When it’s clear Levi’s left him hanging out to dry, Erwin slowly lowered his arm and awkwardly patted his sweaty palms on his suit pants. Still, he refused to go down without a fight and offered the earnest smile he knew makes all the ladies in the office swoon. “I certainly hope I’ll be seeing you around the office, Levi."

Levi, however, did not swoon. Instead, he narrowed his eyes, thin eyebrows furrowing in a way that made Erwin’s heart skip a beat. “Not if I can help it,” Levi bit out, flying past the two tall men in a flourish. Erwin could only stare in awe until Levi turned the corner.

Mike sighed and ran his thick fingers through his hair. “Sorry about that, Erwin,” he threw his hands up in surrender. “His personality is shit, but he’s damn good at his job.”

“I’m sure he is,” Erwin agreed absentmindedly, still looking towards the direction Levi disappeared into. 

As he went about his day, the alluring eyes of pale gray  burned into his mind.

.

.

.

Levi stuck to his word well, because it really did seem like he avoids the blond man whenever he could help it. Sometimes, Erwin swore he saw a glimpse of an small, agile body ducking out of sight when he walked around the office on his daily rounds, but he gave himself the benefit of the doubt. The only times Erwin ever got to get a decent look at Levi was when Levi cannot escape, like during meetings. But even then, Erwin never managed so much as to ever make eye contact with him. Granted, Levi didn’t make eye contact with _anyone_ at these meetings, instead choosing to frown deeply at the papers laid out in front of him. But it was rather odd that he didn’t even look up at Erwin once, who always led meetings as the COO.

So really, Erwin didn’t see Levi, unless Levi had nowhere to run. Somewhere like the annual company Christmas Party. At this point, a good three months have passed since that stiff first encounter, and Erwin’s only talked to Levi a handful of times since. And “talking” was a stretch because all it ever meant was Erwin giving orders and Levi grunting in response.  

Erwin spent the evening kissing up to business partners and stockholders with one sophisticated flute of champagne in hand, so he didn’t even realize Levi was there until the party dwindled down and he caught the petite man leaning over the balcony. He had gone outside to escape the stuffiness he’d suffered for the past few hours, and was pleasantly surprised to find Levi, albeit drunk, by himself.

“Levi,” Erwin greeted cordially as he strode up to him, “Enjoying the party?” He only became cognizant of Levi’s drunken state when he groggily lifted his head to glare at him and the stench of alcohol washed over him.

“It’s a shit party and you know it,” Levi said succinctly, leaving Erwin wondering if he was drunk at all. He was about to disagree and comment on the delicate finger foods, but was interrupted when Levi narrowed his eyes, “Are you wearing a fucking bolo tie?”

 Erwin looked down at the offending item hanging around his neck and put a hand over it protectively. “Yes? I rather like it.” He answered pointedly, refusing to let Levi’s sharp glare sway him.

Levi scoffed and set his empty wine glass on the ledge of the balcony, “Figures, for an old man like you. What are you, forty?”

Erwin frowned deeply. In the three months that had gone by without talking to Levi, he’d almost forgotten how blunt, borderline rude, he could be. “I’m thirty three. Not exactly old, Levi.”

“Yeah, well,” Levi pushed off the balcony and slinked towards Erwin, who began to feel a bit like a cornered animal. “Either way, you still look fine as hell in that suit, bolo tie and all.” Now Erwin knew for sure Levi was drunk, for the close distance between them allowed Erwin to see the flush spread across Levi’s pale cheeks. As his mind raced to understand the weight of what Levi just said, the raven-haired male roughly tugged on his bolo tie, bringing him down so that their noses just barely touched.  

“Take me home?” Levi whispered, eyelashes fanning over his cheeks in an alluring spell.

Erwin knew he shouldn’t. He prided himself on being an honorable man, and as much as he wanted Levi, he would prefer to court him properly before taking things further.

He went to remove Levi’s hand from its grip on his bolo tie and ask him out to dinner instead, but then the petite male leaned up and sealed his lips against Erwin’s in a gentle kiss. After a fleeting moment, when Levi was sure Erwin wasn’t going to move away, he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. With Levi’s tongue flicking out to stroke the inside of his mouth, all chivalrous thoughts flew out the window as the blood in his head travelled down to his groin.

 Erwin supposed dinner could wait.

.

.

.

They didn’t even make it to the bed before Levi pounced once more. He shoved Erwin up against the wall with surprising strength, clenching Erwin’s suit lapels in his fists. “Off, off,  _off”_ he muttered, pushing Erwin’s suit jacket off his shoulders before immediately attacking the buttons of his shirt. He hasn’t even gotten the third button undone when he latched himself onto Erwin’s neck, sucking and twirling his tongue against his sweaty skin.

“ _Shit_ , Levi.” Erwin groaned throatily. He hoisted Levi up, who naturally wrapped his legs around his thick waist.

“Bedroom’s on the left,” Levi mumbled into Erwin’s neck, savoring the musky scent he found there. Erwin wasted no time and briskly carried Levi into the bedroom and dropped him onto the bed like a rag doll. Levi watched with admiration as Erwin hastily unbuttoned the rest of his shirt with shaky fingers and threw it on the ground. The blond approached the bed with the intent of looking lustful, but managed to stub his toe against the corner of Levi’s bed with a barely contained curse.

“How can you still be so hot when you’re this clumsy?” Levi reprimanded.

“You think I’m hot?” Erwin grinned as he climbed over Levi’s body. _Oh_ , this was too good.

Levi grabbed Erwin’s hand and pushed it against his clothed crotch, grinding his erection into the heel of his meaty palm. He lowered his eyes in a sultry gaze and breathed, “Does that answer your question, _Daddy?_ ” 

And, well, that was an invitation if Erwin ever saw one.

.

.

 .  

Erwin woke up the next morning to the sensation of the morning air chilling his bare back, and gentle fingers brushing his blond locks out of his face. Bliss curled around his heart in tendrils, but he squirmed when the hand comes back on the downbeat of a stroke and tickled his face.

“Mm, Levi?” he groggily opened his eyes in time to see Levi snatching his hand away and sitting up to turn away from him.

“What do you want, old man?” Levi hissed. The words come out cold, but the tips of Levi’s ears were bright red.

_Cute._

Unruffled, Erwin simply smiled and wrapped his arm around Levi’s naked waist.

“Nothing, just come back to bed with me.”

“In your dreams, you shitty pervert.” Levi plucked Erwin’s arm away from him in distaste. “Look, you’re a pretty decent lay. I wouldn’t mind fucking you once in a while.”

Erwin grimaced at that, not liking how things are turning out, but Levi didn’t allow him to get a word in. “But let me set this straight: that’s all this will ever be. Casual sex. If you’re looking for someone to cuddle with or go on dates with or some disgusting, domestic shit like that, you should just leave now.”

At that, Levi raised his eyebrow in a challenge. _Are you in, or not?_ His upturned eyebrow seemed to beckon Erwin. The blond allowed his eyes to trail over to Levi’s thin hands. He remembered the gentle strokes of a loving hand caressing his cheek in his slumber. His eyes then focused in on Levi’s ears, and he remembered how red they’d been when Levi was caught in the very act he belittled as “some disgusting, domestic shit”. Finally, he looked Levi squarely in the eyes, and he saw how locked and layered his gaze was, impenetrable and unyielding.

_He’s afraid to be honest with himself._

 Erwin withdrew the hand Levi had pushed away, and offered a warm smile instead.

 “I’m in.”

_._

_Present Day_

_._

Christmas comes and goes. Levi doesn’t reach out to Erwin during this time, so neither does he. He’ll admit, though, that he did feel an itch on Christmas Day to pick up his phone and call Levi, or text him, or _something_. Erwin knows Levi will be a shut-in on cheesy holidays like Christmas; doubled with his birthday, he’s guaranteed to be holed up in his apartment, blocking out everything and everyone.

Erwin also knows that if he doesn’t wish Levi happy birthday today, perhaps no one will. He only has an uncle, Kenny, who likes to pretend he wants nothing to do with “the scowly brat”, or so he calls Levi. Hanji means well, but she’s gone back to visit her family who are equally as chaotic as her, and Erwin wouldn’t blame her if she simply forgets and brings back a nice present as an apology instead.

He knows this, and yet he’s perched rigidly on the edge of the couch in a staring contest with the scarf he’d gotten Levi, and he has no intention of ever wrapping it.

 It’s not that Levi’s not reaching out to him, Erwin realizes, it’s that Levi has never initiated contact to begin with. Erwin’s always been the one to ask first.

_Good morning, Levi. Would you like to grab brunch later? I heard this new place has a wonderful rose tea._

_Dinner at my place? I found a recipe for baked salmon, but I don’t dare touch the oven without your supervision._

_Will you go on a date, a real one, with me?_

He falls back into the couch with a harsh exhale. Erwin thinks about how there are receipts lying around his apartment for the countless other gifts he’s gotten for Levi over the years. How there isn’t a single thing lying around the apartment that Levi’s gotten for _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew! this took longer than I thought it would, but it's finally done! I have more than half of the last chapter written, so stay tuned! Kudos and comments are appreciated as always :)


	3. All the Words in My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to: IU's Through the Night

Erwin didn’t think he’d run into Levi so soon after the office awoke from the slumber that is Christmas break. But alas, Lady Luck casts them into the copy machine room alone merely days later. Nonetheless, Erwin figures the boss-and-subordinate relationship they once had is safe grounds, so that’s where he retreats.

“Ah, Levi. I was looking for you.” Erwin measures his tone carefully, pleased that it comes out so light. The petite male jerks his head up from the file he’d been sticking his nose in, giving Erwin the deer-caught-in-headlights look.

“The financial report for this quarter. Can I expect them by the end of the week?” Erwin smiles evenly in the way that is kind, but vague. It’s the smile he gives when the barista at his favorite cafe hands him his Americano, or when Eren the intern asks for help with the spreadsheet. Easy. No skin off his back.

Levi says nothing for a moment, sharp eyes searching his face. Erwin fights to maintain his facial expression, the muscles in his cheeks twitching from the prolonged smile. He watches as Levi opens and closes his mouth.

“Yeah, sure.” Levi says eventually, diverting his gaze back to the file in his hands. “I’ll have it on your desk by Friday afternoon.”

A long silence stretches between them. While the seconds tick by as Levi pointedly refuses to meet Erwin’s eyes, he doesn’t allow himself to feel disappointed that Levi won’t be addressing the tumor burgeoning between them. Erwin’s certainly done being the one to give in, to make the first move. _Enough_ , he decides, and he clears his throat.

“Very well,” he nods tersely at the shorter male, who’s still not looking at him, “have a good day, then.”

The blond spins on his heels without waiting for Levi’s reply. Walking briskly out of the room with the material he intended to copy forgotten, the sound of his expensive dress shoes on tiled floor resonates sharply in his ears. He chooses to ignore the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes in the back of his head.

.

.

.

His sour mood lasts for the next few days. He’s not very proud that he snaps at Eren for a minor mistake in a spreadsheet and that he blows Mike off for drinks after work. Above all, however, he’s rather ashamed that he’s allowed Levi to do this to him, even though the raven-haired male didn’t really do anything at all. But then again, that was the problem at its core, wasn’t it?

No matter what it is, he’s sullen. And it must have been apparent in more ways than one, because Marie pops into his office.

“Mr. Smith?” she calls softly, strawberry blonde head poking through his door.

“Marie,” Erwin greets cordially, only lifting his eyes from his papers for a brief moment to grant her permission to enter.

She beams and walks into his office.

“I got a little succulent plant for you,” she says, putting the tiny pot down on the corner of his desk. “It’s cute, and you hardly need to water it. No trouble at all.”

Erwin spares the bit of greenery a look. It _is_ pretty cute. He has a history of liking small things, after all.

“Thank you, Marie.” Erwin gives her a kind smile, although he’s itching to get back to work. To a fault, he is a gentleman through and through.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Smith,” Marie chirps, “You seemed a bit down lately, so I hope this will cheer you up.”

He glances up at her again. There’s a warmth in her honey-brown eyes that he once saw in his own when he and Levi made love in front of a mirror. Erwin puts down his papers.

Ah. That’s right.

Erwin isn’t blind nor stupid; he knows that Marie had been interested, girlish blush and fluttering eyelashes, since the beginning. But he never entertained the idea of reciprocating her shy advances. Not when he happily had his hands full with Levi.

But now, things are different. He looks at her. _Really_ looks at her, for the first time.

If Erwin is what you’d call classically handsome, a Greek god among humans, then Marie would be his counterpart--Aphrodite, perhaps. With her silky blonde hair curling at her breasts, luscious cupid’s bow begging to be kissed, and swan-like neck that could drive any man insane, it’s no wonder why Nile has been panting after his secretary for years.

He's seen how she handles the interns, gently correcting them when they forget CEO Shadis’ complex latte order and ruffling their hair. How she manages to set a homemade cupcake on every coworkers’ desks on the morning of his or her birthday. In their favorite flavor, of course.

She would be a wonderful mother, is what Erwin means. And it wouldn't be bad at all to spend the rest of his life with a gentle soul like her. He's already experienced a lifetime’s worth of prickliness from a certain gray-eyed man, anyhow.

Still, a smile from her does not send Erwin’s heart beating wildly, nor does her touch make his skin tingle. But he figures it's not a big deal. Marie, with her tinkling laugh and doe eyes, is easy to love. He would learn to love her, in time. Surely.

“Marie,” he says with a renewed kindness in his voice. “Would you like to go out for dinner sometime?”

When she says yes with gushing excitement, he convinces himself that the squeeze he feels in his chest is out of anticipation.

.

.

.

Before Erwin can register that it’s Levi at his door, the tiny, fuming thing plants his palms square on Erwin’s study chest and pushes hard. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” snarls Levi.

After a heated moment of silence in which Erwin waits for an explanation and receives none, he tenderly rubs his chest where Levi pushed him and frowns, “Forgive me, but I don’t understand. What have I done that upsets you so?”

Levi shoves past Erwin and strides into the apartment. “That’s rich, Erwin,” he snorts, “for such a smart guy, you’re pretty fucking dense.” He storms down the hallway, with Erwin hot on his heels. When he abruptly stops in the middle of the living room, he causes Erwin to nearly collide into the him. As the blond scrambles to put distance between them, Levi spins around and pins him with his sharp gray eyes that can cut through diamonds.

“So? What the fuck are you doing?” Levi repeats impatiently. “With _Marie_ , that is.” The name is wrenched from his mouth in disdain, as if he'd just stepped in dog shit.

Erwin rears his head back in surprise at the mention of Marie. He didn’t even think Levi knew about her.

“Marie?” he repeats dumbly.

“Yeah. _Her.”_ Levi crosses his arms and waits.

Erwin regards the raven-haired male for a moment. He had taken precaution to remain discreet about his budding romance, for he certainly did not want to wave his relationship with Marie in Levi’s face. Even though they didn’t end on great terms, it would be immature of him to try to hurt his ex-lover that way. If they were even lovers at all.

But at the same time, word travels fast around the office. If Erwin doesn’t come clean now, Levi is still bound to find out sooner or later. It would be best, he decides, if Levi hears the truth, unladen with scandalous exaggerations, from him first.

‘I’m seeing her, Levi,” Erwin says, “we’re taking it slow but we’ve been on a few dates.”

Levi narrows his eyes. “Did you fuck her?”

Erwin tightens his lips into a grim line. He hadn’t. But he’s had enough of this, of Levi interrogating him like some criminal, as if he’d done Levi wrong. Eyes hardened, he replies, “That really isn’t any of your business now, is it?”

“So you fucked her.” The shorter male lets out a sharp laugh. It’s bitter and cruel.

“I was right about you,” Levi sneers, “finding another hole to fuck so soon after we ended things. You were never really serious about me, were you?”

Levi might as well have struck him. Erwin is so, so tired.

“Oh, Levi. I loved you.” the blond sighed, “I really did. But you didn’t expect me to spend the rest of my life waiting for you, did you?”

“Fuck yeah,” Levi spits, “I did. Just because I don’t want to date you doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. You’re still _mine_.”

In a blur, reminiscent of their first encounter, Levi’s hand flies out to Erwin’s tie and pulls him down for a kiss. It’s awkward and stiff and not at all reciprocated.

Unlike their first kiss, hesitant breaths and exploratory tongues, this one screams possessiveness and destruction. Levi kisses to _take_. Drowning in the shorter male’s scent and the slickness of his mouth, Erwin only emerges for his first gulp of air when Levi bites his lips so hard it draws blood.

He tastes the iron, and he’s reminded of the bitterness of rejection, mocking words, a hand pushing away. Aloofness. And that’s the only prompt he needs to tear himself away.

Ripping his tie away from Levi’s grip, the taller male manages to push him off. Erwin wipes the blood off his lip with his thumb, and he can’t help but think this is what he probably should have done that night on the balcony.

“ _Sh_ _it_ , Levi,” he grounds out, and Levi’s eyes widen. Of course, Erwin sometimes (oftentimes) would let curses slip out in throes of passion when they had sex, so it’s not as if Levi hasn’t heard him swear before. But never like this. Never out of anger.

“You can’t do this,” Erwin reprimands, “I’m not your plaything, or some lovesick dog at your beck and call. Let me remind you that you chose to let me go. _So let me go_.”

He lowers his eyes. He can’t bear to look at Levi anymore. “You’ve always been cruel, Levi, but I didn’t think you’d break my heart like this.”

Erwin hears Levi taking in a breath sharply, and he knows there’s a venomous comeback sitting on the tip of his tongue, a fire unquenched. He almost finds Levi ugly, his thin lips twisted and eyes clouded by jealousy. He doesn’t want to remember Levi this way.

“Get out." 

Erwin’s low voice resonates between them, filling the empty space. A bomb has been dropped and it takes the fight out of Levi.

“What?” Levi asks numbly, because for the second time tonight, he thinks those words couldn’t possibly be Erwin’s. They couldn’t possibly belong to the man who offered him a smitten smile and told him, _“I’m in.”_  

“I said get out.” Erwin repeats, words forcibly even. “Now.”

“Oh.” Levi says. He sees it now, how much he must have hurt the blond standing in front of him, for Erwin to retaliate like this.

“Okay,” he says. Because what else can he say?

Erwin makes way for Levi as he passes him on his way back into the dark hallway and to the door.

He lets him go.  

.

.

.

Levi refuses to put a name to it, but his life seems somewhat empty these days. No one bothers him even once at work; he suppresses the looming ache of loneliness and tells himself it’s a good thing he can get work done without distractions.

Still, he has to scold himself when he hears a knock on his door around lunchtime and immediately hopes for a particular blond. He berates himself once more when he feels mutely disappointed that it’s just Eren the intern timidly poking his head through the doorway to ask if he wanted any coffee.

He should know by now that Erwin will no longer swing by his office at lunchtime. He won't be flashing his winning smile when he asks if Levi’s eaten yet, as if he didn’t already know that Levi always waits for him.

Even after he goes home, he can’t escape. _Keeping Up with the Kardashians_ is on during a night of casual TV surfing, and Levi instinctively reaches for the remote to switch the channel.

_Erwin’s shitty whining will be endless if I don’t wait for him to watch it together._

But they won’t be watching anything together anymore, will they? Levi sighs and settles in for a bout of petty catfights between Kim and Kourtney.

Yes, Levi refuses to put a name to his newfound loneliness-- _especially_ not a name that is Erwin Smith.

Levi mopes (but he’ll die before he admits that he actually was, indeed, moping) for another two weeks before his roommate finally confronts him in the kitchen while he’s making tea.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Hanji accuses.

He falters only in dipping the tea bag in his cup, but resumes in a heartbeat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi says coolly.

He worms his way out and leans against the kitchen island, setting the steaming cup on the countertop. It’s his favorite teacup, with tiny, hand painted roses embroidering the rim and lacing up the handle. Erwin had gotten it for him on a business trip to London.

Hanji plants herself opposite of Levi across the marble table. “Don’t play dumb with me, Levi. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Levi takes a neat sip of his tea. “If you’re talking about that big blond bimbo, he can fuck whoever he wants. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

“But you two were getting along so well,” Hanji argues, “two years, right? The man was ready to drop down on his knees and ask you to marry him. And now he’s suddenly dating some woman he’d never given a second glance before? What happened?”

“Look,” Levi snaps, putting the teacup down so forcefully the liquid sloshes over the rim, “we were just fuck buddies. He got the wrong idea and thought we were actually in love. I told him to fuck off and he did. And that’s perfectly fine with me. Are you happy now?”

Hanji shakes her head. “I don’t buy that. You love him, Levi. I know you do. Why are you pushing him away?”

Levi breathes hard, fighting to not lose his cool any more than he already has. “You’re delusional, just like him. I don’t fucking love him. I don’t love. Period.” 

Even before those words fully leave his mouth, he knows he’s said too much. Hanji squints at him through her thick-rimmed glasses.

“Is this about Farlan and Isabel?”

Levi doesn’t answer. Can’t. He grips the teacup tightly in an effort to hide his trembling hands, but as always, nothing escapes Hanji’s sharp eyes.

“Levi, you know what happened to them wasn’t your fault.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi spits, resisting the urge to just cover his ears. “you don’t know shit.”

Hanji slams her palms on the table with a fiery glint in her gaze. “Listen to me, Levi. You can deny all you want, but it won’t change how you feel about him. And if you do end up losing him like you lost them, you’ll realize that you could have spent all that time together, but you wasted it because you were afraid. _That_ will hurt more than anything.”

She pauses, her eyes softening. “No one knows how much time they have left. You of all people should know that, Levi. But that’s life. And it shouldn’t stop people from living. Don’t you think Erwin deserves to be happy? Don’t you think _you_ deserve to be happy?”

Levi feels hot tears welling up, and he flings the teacup at the wall. It shatters against the ugly, yellow wallpaper and he thinks it’ll stain. “So what if I love him?” his voice is exhausted. Raw. “So what? It’s too late. He has Marie.”

Just the thought of them together, so perfectly matched, makes him sick to his stomach. “Even if I tell him that I love him, that I want to be with him, where is all that supposed to fucking fit in now?”

Hanji stares at him, probably shocked by his admission. “Levi, you need to tell him the truth.”

“Are you even listening, Shitty Glasses? I said it’s too fucking late.”

Hanji shrugs, “Even so, you should tell him.” Droplets of Levi’s tea cling onto her glasses. She takes her glasses off and wipes them on her shirt. “It’s the only thing you’ve got now, isn’t it?”

.

.

.

They end up crossing paths again in the break room. The blond had been fiddling with the coffee machine, muttering to himself about talking to Nanaba about getting it replaced, when Levi walks in.

“Oh.” Erwin didn’t even hear Levi coming. Moodily silent as always, Levi’s presence goes unnoticed until the familiar fragrance of the tea he keeps in the cabinet wafts over to Erwin’s side of the room and the blond whips his head around. Sure enough, the petite man stands there across the way, ripping into a fresh packet of tea. Levi’s already side-eyeing him warily.

“Hello,” Erwin says. A peace offering.

He only gets a stiff nod from Levi in return. The raven-haired male appears to be bored as always, but the skittish movements of his hands as he works his tea tell Erwin otherwise.

They haven’t been alone together since the day Erwin kicked him out. Escaping would be ideal, but it’d be too obvious if he left only seconds after Levi arrived. Especially when his coffee is still lazily dribbling into his mug. The coffee machine hums along happily, completely ignorant of Erwin’s state of panic. He turns back around to tend to his drink.

“So... how are things with Marie?”

Levi’s talking to him first. He’s initiating conversation. Erwin discreetly pinches the back of his hand and it stings.

Still not quite believing this isn’t a dream, Erwin says, “Ah. We broke it off. I realized I’m still in the process of getting over our...affair and it wouldn’t be fair of me to make her wait.” He gladly discloses this information to Levi. All things considered, he thinks it is only right that he knows.

“She’s with Nile, now. I think she’s happy.” He hears Levi laugh, surprisingly void of its usual jeer, and turns around again in time to see him wrinkling his nose.

“Well, shit. She sure downgraded. Nile’s shit-beard is quite a sight to behold.”

Erwin allows himself to chuckle at that. “After all this time, I’m glad you still find me attractive, at least.”

“Of course I find you attractive, you dumb oaf. I wouldn’t have been fucking you if I didn’t, would I?”

“Ah. I suppose not.”

A silence ensues. Erwin inwardly shrugs; only so many miracles can happen in one day.

“Look,” Levi speaks up tentatively once more. Erwin resists the urge to pinch himself again.

“I said a lot of shitty things that night. I’m sorry.”

“Levi?” Erwin couldn’t believe his ears. In the two years Erwin’s known him, he’s never seen the prideful man apologize to anyone. Yet, here he is, ears bright red and eyes on the ground, like he was _afraid_ of what Erwin might think.

“You’re just so goddamn kind, Erwin, and I took advantage of that. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. Not just that night. This whole time.” Levi tightens his grip on his mug, white knuckles protruding. He’s still not looking at Erwin.

“I had a lot of personal shit to deal with. And I still do. I know that’s no excuse for the way I acted. But after these few shitty weeks, I realized something.”

He finally raises his eyes to meet Erwin’s, and Erwin feels like he’s just had the breath knocked out of him. No longer are those cold gray eyes hooded, indecipherable. They glisten, alive and brimming with honesty.

“I want to be with you, Erwin." 

“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin breathes.

“I do,” Levi says, “I want to be together in the way you’ve always wanted us to be. Disgusting, domestic shit and all.” He pauses then, cheeks coloring.

“It might be too late, but...if you’ll have me...I’d like it if we could go out to dinner sometime.”

Erwin surges across the small room in a few strides, all but grabbing Levi’s face in his hands. Levi sputters in surprise, and Erwin pulls him up to seal their lips in a hard kiss. Their tongues twist and waltz together in a fervent dance, soothing the ache that had been the absence of each other in their lives. They part, eventually. A string of spit still connects their lips when Erwin speaks.

“Of course,” he whispers, gazing down at his lover in adoration, “I’ve always been yours, Levi.”

Levi let out a soft _tch,_ but the corners of his mouth are curling upwards. “Gross. You’re getting too sentimental in your old age.”

“Oh am I now?” Erwin smiles broadly, heart aflutter. “You love it though.”

“You’re right.” Levi tugs on Erwin’s tie, coaxing him for another kiss. “I love it.”

_I love you._

_._

_._

_._

Sunlight spills through the windows, and Erwin thinks he really ought to get decent curtains sometime. He doesn’t linger very long on this thought though, because the sensation of gentle fingers dancing across his jawline pulls him from his deep slumber.

Erwin opens his eyes, and he’s met with the sight of Levi gazing back openly at him, mouth quirked in a small smile.

“Good morning, my love,” Erwin whispers. Levi’s hand does not waver, continuing its journey tracing his face. When the raven-haired man’s touch tickles the underside of his chin, a giggle much too unbecoming for a man of his size bubbles out of him.

“Good morning, old man,” Levi whispers back, affection brimming in his low voice.

“A bit too early in the morning, I’d say,” Erwin huffs playfully. Looking over Levi’s naked shoulder, he notes that the digital clock at his bedside only reads 7:24 am. “Would it hurt to let this poor man rest a bit more on his day off? He’s awfully stressed these days.”  

Levi rolls his eyes, but he pulls the blanket neatly back over them. “Whatever,” he says, settling his head on Erwin’s bare chest. “You’d think an old man like you wouldn’t need as much sleep as you do.”  

“You wound me, Levi.” Erwin gathers the petite man closer in his arms. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to cuddle with your boyfriend for a bit longer, is there?”

Levi buries his face against Erwin’s chest. “Shut up,” he hisses, “You’re so embarrassing.”

Erwin chuckles. There’s nothing he can say to that.

He sighs contently, pressing his nose in Levi’s hair. Erwin drifts back to sleep to the smell of a familiar lavender soap scent and the feeling of a soft mouth peppering light kisses across his chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! The last chapter ended up being way longer than I anticipated. I hope you enjoyed the fic! If I'm not mistaken, this has been the first full-length fic I've actually written out from beginning to end. Thank you so much to those who left kudos and kind comments; it really encouraged me when I wanted to throw in the towel. As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm also in the process of writing my next fic, so keep an eye out!


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